Monday, June 16, 2008

CASE study proves Dawkins is God

The CASE psychological warfare unit has recently released its annual report on the psychology of religion entitiled "Bonkers: the theist grasp for reality" ($19.95 at our online shop).

The report includes multiple conclusions from the CASE psychological warfare unit's unbiased account of its 15 year study of a baby procured through generous donations to CASE (To make a donation, click here) and the help of the Sudanese Government.

The experiment focussed on whether the subject, whose has been labelled "Faw" (being a derivative of his serial number: #4) would have religious inklings without any access to the outside world, its parents or any human contact or other stimuli.

CASE psychological warfare unit made several interesting discoveries, including:-

1. Faw does not know the names Jesus, Mohammed or Buddha or understand their meaning. Furthermore, he attained only a score of 43 out of 100 on a multiple choice examination on religion which is a decent score for a child that has not spoken to another human being for 15 years. However, Faw completely bombed out with only 3 out of 100 in qualitative assessment. Some marks were given for making the point that religion was an empty issue but not making any markings on the page.

2. Faw was presented with pictures of various individuals and asked to assign names to each individual from a set list. Over the course of 250 tests conducted, Faw made only one correct answer:-

Faw identified this man as God in test #137 on 19 January 2004.

CASE psychological warfare unit considers this REAL evidence of the rightness of atheism.

3. Faw also seemed to always choose images of Angelina Jolie (a famous athiest) over the Pope when offered. Further proof the Faw strongly identified with the athiest cause:-

(Pictured) Angelina Jolie, Tomb Raider, and guy she found in tomb.

Faw did show some religious feelings, eventually coming to worship the small chute through which his meals would be provided on a daily basis. CASE officers observed Faw began various rituals to "bring forth food" from the chute which he has named in his own invented language"Pid*click*gin*click*click*naria".

Faw, of course, is unaware of the uncanny link between the name he has given his God and experiments performed by BF Skinner during the 1960's which explain the exact method of creating and following religion in humans. Of course, Skinner did not have the significant resources of CASE and was unable to procure a baby.

With the experiment over, Faw has been offered a job with the CASE child warfare department. Faw, who has no perceptible understand of any other languages declined the offer. Accordingly, CASE has given Faw a grant and some clothes so that he may continue his wonderful journey through life, we understand he has been offered a post teaching his own invented language at a Bachelor of Arts course, and we are certain he will be successful.
Everyone at CASE wish you all the best Faw.

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